How many years have you being playing this? When you had a pager around your age of 28 or 29 and till now, what are you looking for? A soul mate right? What have I been doing to be with you all those years? We lived, talked happily and it wasn't counted?  Still remember when I was pregenent, I caught you giving out your cell phone number to a woman on the chating room.  You turned the computer off and denial it.  How long ago was it?  12 years ago?  I thought that was it and not knowing it has been going on ever since.

Going on with all different dating sites, chating rooms, coffee breaks, dinners before you come home, lunches with different girls in different cities... even friends have seen you dating someone else. No one dare to tell me. Our kids might bump into you sometime soon. I must not be a good wife that you've to look around other women for so long, even now. You log-on as soon as you get to work and log on as soon as you go back from lunch. You invite girls to write you on private email address after all.... send pictures, exchange numbers, have lunches and more.. I don't want to think about those graphic events.

When you tried to send emails while I was busy around you, cleaning the house... When you let me go out with kids, you were sending emails to those proposed girls of your interest on the dating site.... I'm just so clear about what you did.... You think I loaded the spyware to spy what you did on the internet? You re-load the computer to keep your safety? I hope not. I never to have to do so. I just know you from your eye contacts, from your body languages. Don't forget, I'm your wife, I just know what you did....

You're looking for the age range below my age which even hurts me. You're saying I'm getting old. When you try to find your manhood and seeking your youth, you're making me feel I'm very old, that's why I can't make you happy any more. it deteriorate my confidence day by day.

Day after day, I send two kids to two different schoolds, pack your breakfast, go to my work for the whole day, coming back to pick up kids after work. Some times I come back to pick up kids during the day because of unexpected reasons. After work, I called for dinner to go while driving, pick up kids, pick up dinner, and send kids to either piano classes or dance class. Then, I came home to cook some fresh soup and go back to pick up the kids home when they are done.... I don't compliant because I love you and love the kids; I'm willing to do everything for you.  My life is so excited with those while your excitement is from looking for other women.  Do you really care about us? 

It's really sad. I'm getting depression now. Without the medicine, I feel so blue. You have dated most of the Los Angeles women who's on dating line. You're moving to additional battle field so you can find fresh meal.....

For those who had ever involved with you, I don't know what to feel.  For those who are still on those dating site, are you really for it?  I have found you and this is the last chance. Either you make me go crazy or you're going to have your fun by yourself. I do love you and love you for long. If your invisible lovers are worth enough to let you hurt your wife and family, what else can I say? After all, the wine will let you forget about your guilt. I'm trying to give you excues that you were under influence when you did all that... But no, you did all these during the day time, under bright sunshine, cool weather in the beach breeze.

In our marriage, what's to be treasured? Please do treasure what you have and don't break what we have in front of the kids. I start to wonder how you pay for this dating site? You have your own checking account, own credit card? And probably a private cell phone so I can't find out what you have done outside of our marriage.   

I was not able to find you, you reached to the net I put out for you. Would you stop the search?  You have already found it. It's me.  I have caught you several times already. Why do you still go on and on?   When you know you have the right one, don't be greedy. Don't break it. You really hurt me badly.... As I said to you, please don't have double faces. There is no real enemy in front of us, it's in your heart. I have given you sometime to clam and hope you erase those habbit and pay some attention to kids and me. 

Do you know what I'm thinking when I caught you on dating line again? I don't think of anything. I'm just so hurt again. If you are looking for our future, please stop those non-sense no. This is the world for those who are really looking for their partners of life time. If you think I'm not your real partner, let me know. So I don't expect you to change. I hope you understand me.... 

As I hung up the phone with you on your way walking into your office this morning, I know you were going to log on to the dating site again.  Sure enough, you did.  You have already found out that I knew you, you just don't care?  As much as I treasure you and our family, please, tell me how many chances do I have to give you?